If you're unhappy, lonely, or heartbroken this Valentine's season, never fear... there are many famous lovers who ended up miserable. Abandoned. Dead. Even... castrated. So, if you're in the mood to immerse yourself in a novel of love gone wrong rather than read another sugar-coated happily-ever-after, read on for epic tales of love and tragedy.
In fact, consider St. Valentine himself: far from flowers and lace, although very little is known about his life, the namesake of our February 14th chocolates-and-sweethearts extravaganza suffered a martyr's death.
Romeo and Juliet
Shakespeare’s famous pair, who've become synonymous with young lovers and doomed love, seem to be a logical choice to begin a list of timeless couples.
Whether is was fate or a series of unlucky chances that got them both killed, one wonders what would have become of their love if they hadn’t been teenagers, and therefore crazy by design. We know Juliet was 13. Romeo’s age is not stated, but his often heated thoughts and impulsive actions suggest he wasn’t much older.
Antony and Cleopatra
The last Pharaoh of Egypt, Cleopatra is the one of the most famous women in history. It is said that she was an accomplished mathematician, fluent in nine languages, a skilled politician and popular among her subjects.
She married her brother Ptolemy, became Julius Caesar’s mistress, and, upon his death, started an affair with Marcus Antonius, which scandalized Rome and deeply worried its politicians.
Mark Antony and Cleopatra married in 36 B. C. Egypt seemed not large enough for the ambitious lovers to rule, so they plotted to conquer Rome. It didn’t turn out too well, though. After a disastrous defeat in Aricum in 31 B. C. and a false report of Cleopatra’s death, Antony killed himself. Cleopatra died shortly after, inducing a snake to bite her.
Lancelot and Guinevere
A crushing love story is the central theme of one of the best known Arthurian legends. Guinevere was the legendary Queen consort of King Arthur. She was said to have fallen in love with her husband’s knight Sir Lancelot. Their betrayal of the king ultimately led to the downfall of the kingdom.
This famous love triangle has been the theme of many literary, music and film adaptations.
Tristan and Isolde
The sad story of Tristan and Isolde, also set in Arthurian times, has been retold countless times. Isolde was a daughter of the king of Ireland, betrothed to the King of Cornwall, who sent his cousin Tristan to escort Isolde to Cornwall. During the voyage, Tristan and Isolde fell in love. She did go on to marry the king, but it didn’t do either of them any good, and of course, they both died of a broken heart.
Abelard and Heloise
They are famous for their letters, the apotheosis of their great love. Abelard was an outstanding scholar in twelfth-century France and Heloise’s tutor, appointed by her uncle. They fell in love, conceived a child and secretly married. The enraged uncle sent Heloise to a convent and had Abelard castrated. Abelard became a monk, Heloise a nun, but they remained in (platonic) love.
Next week: Cupid's (slightly) better attempts and one stellar example...