Join us on Saturday, February 23rd and Sunday, February 24th as the Calgary Public Library presents the Mind, Body, Spirit Weekend. It is a weekend full of insight, rejuvenation, and inspiration held in the John Dutton Theatre at the Central Library. Over the next four weeks we will interview four of the nine presenters. This week we have Anne Walton, who will be presenting Compassionate Communication on Saturday, February 23rd from 10 - 11 am. If you missed the first interview don't worry you can still see it on our Good Life blog. For more information on our Mind, Body, Spirit Weekend and to register please see our program page.

Compassionate communication is also known as nonviolent communication. Where does the name come from?

Marshall Rosenberg, the man who developed the process, uses the word “nonviolent” in the sense that Gandhi used it, the place where my heart is free of blame, judgment and criticism. My understanding is that the term comes from the Sanskrit word “ahimsa” which can be translated as “nonviolence” however a fuller, more accurate translation would be “the force of love in action”

Compassionate communication is a non-judgmental approach to communication, what makes it unique?

Compassionate Communication focuses on needs and values. It suggests that everything we do is the best we know how to meet our needs in any moment and that needs are the direct cause of our feelings. For example, if I feel upset, it’s not because you said “blah, blah, blah” but because I have a need for consideration, inclusion, mutuality (whatever is important to us in that moment). People describe needs in various ways, one that works for me is that it’s life energy flowing through us. Also, on the surface Compassionate communication is a set of simple and effective communication tools, on a deeper level it’s way of living life more consciously.

Many relationships experience conflict because of a breakdown in communication. What impact can compassionate communication have on one’s relationship and life? How have you seen an impact in your own life?

Compassionate communication gives us the tools to check in with ourselves in any moment and see if what we’re about to do or say will lead to our needs being met. It also gives us tools to make a guess about how another person is right now and to express ourselves in a way that will lead to connection, understanding, and communication. In my own life I’ve noticed such a transformation in me – I’m much more compassionate with myself than I used to be. I’m also much more able to hear what’s going on for another person and have the language to check this out in a way that won’t be intrusive or triggering.

Can you share some practical compassionate communication tips?

Any time we’re triggered or upset, we can pause and take a breath and connect with what’s going on inside us. For example I could say to myself “right now, I’m pretty sad and I would like some understanding for what this situation is like for me”. Just the simple act of taking a deep breath supports us in gaining access to more inner resources (physiologically this facilitates a shift from the amygdala to the prefrontal cortex). Then once I’m in a more resourceful state, I might be able to connect with my intention, perhaps ask myself “is what I’m about to say or do, in alignment with my values and likely to lead to what I’m wanting?” Getting to a more resourceful state also enables me to consider what another’s needs are in the moment.

Anne Walton is a Certified Trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication who finds deep meaning in sharing these tools with others in Canada and the US. Anne’s other passion is doing comedy so she loves generating fun and laughter in her trainings!

Join us on Saturday, February 23rd and Sunday, February 24th as the Calgary Public Library presents the Mind, Body, Spirit Weekend. It is a weekend full of insight, rejuvenation, and inspiration held in the John Dutton Theatre at the Central Library. Over the next four weeks we will interview four of the nine presenters. This week we have Peter Kieran, who will be presenting Transformational Coaching on Saturday, February 23rd from 3 – 4 pm. For more information on our Mind, Body, Spirit Weekend and to register please see our program page.

What is the difference between coaching, counselling, therapy and mentoring?

The difference lies in where the client finds the solutions to achieving want they want. In coaching we start with the assumption that the client is whole and has the skills, knowledge, ability and creativity to take the appropriate action. Compared to counselling, therapy or mentoring, coaching awakens the client to their own strengths and capabilities and is more transformational in its nature because of this. There is no attempt to fix the client or solve their problems for them. Rather than answering the client’s questions, a coach asks the questions from a place of compassion and not knowing, allowing the client to explore their own greatness and experience new perspectives in their lives that they otherwise might never have been aware of.

At Mind, Body, and Spirit you’ll be talking about transformational coaching. What are some outcomes that people can expect having worked with a coach?

Of course the specific outcomes are different for each individual however there will always be some level of increased self awareness, understanding of personal values and strengths and clarity in what they want and how to achieve their desired outcomes. Coaching usually leads to some sort of transformation in the client in the form of new perspectives on who they are, what they want and how it all fits into the bigger picture of life. Hopefully this translates for the client into a shift from a “problem solving” paradigm, to one that is more positive and generative.

If I decided to hire a life coach what would be the time commitment I may consider and why?

Typically coaching takes place over several months to a year and consists of 2 or three sessions a month. Because the client is responsible to take action on their commitments, time is needed between sessions to ensure that they have the opportunity to make changes. This also allows the coaching process to build on itself, as more is learned and new topics for conversation emerge. Sessions may be anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and usually focus and one thing at a time to get the most benefit. As personal awareness increases and as they tap into their own individual strengths, many new and exciting possibilities often appear out of nowhere, creating endless opportunities for change for the client. Just as a triathlete might hire a coach to take them to the next level in their fitness, so too might someone hire a personal coach to take them to the next level in their personal development and overall success in their lives. We all have hidden potential within us. Hiring a coach is like giving yourself the gift of greatness. How great do you want to be?

Everyone likes to hear a success story, can you share examples of client success?

Anyone who is looking for change in their lives, clarity in who they are or what they want to do, or anyone trying to make a decision, improve a situation or how they relate to others will benefit from a coaching relationship. I recently coached a young man who was unsure what to do next in his life. He had a bad back, was overweight, and lived at home with no job. Together we found the path that led him to realize his passion and his strengths, helping him make a decision about where to work, leading him to move back out on his own, lose weight, change his relationship with his father and overall returned his confidence about who he was and what he brought to this world. I also coached a woman looking for what to do next in her career after having left a company where she was very unhappy. We tapped into her values and strengths creating a way for her to see future opportunities more clearly and she went on to become very active in her church and found employment at a new company where she is much happier than before.

What skills do you as a coach bring to the relationship?

Good Question! Each coach has their own style of communicating and their own strengths from which to draw. For me it’s a combination of a lifestyle of physical fitness, years of coaching in the workplace as a Team Leader or supervisor and growing up in a family of artists, giving me an appreciation for personal performance, art, nature and living in the moment. I can see, feel and admire the greatness in others and I use that ability to encourage my clients to have confidence in themselves and their ability to achieve their goals.

Peter Kieran is certified professional coach, who enjoys working with clients to help them discover who they are and what they want to accomplish in their lives, enabling them through self awareness and vision, to achieve their personal and professional goals. His coaching company is called Your Road, Your Way and he invites you to step forward and join him on the road of discovery.

Repurposing and upcycling items is a trend, both in environmental terms and in terms of design. The difference between the terms is as follows: repurposing changes something’s use with a minimal change to the object itself, whereas upcycling converts something useless into something usually quite different from what it was before. The key for both is that you are reusing something, which is better the environment and for your artistic soul than throwing things away.

Here are a few examples of reusing your old items:

Using old furniture: the “shabby chic” movement often uses furniture that is either old and worn (often antique) or made to look antique. Many refinish old furniture, either by putting a new a new layer of paint on or by taking the old paint off and revealing the beautiful wood underneath.

Other objects can be repurposed as well. What’s wonderful about repurposing/upcycling is that you are really only limited by your own imagination. That said, if you need some ideas to inspire, many ideas are circulating around social networking sites involving repurposing objects. Not to mention the fact that the library has books such as Lisa Occipinto’s The repurposed library (which gives ideas about how to reuse old books) and Juilette Goggin’s Junk Genius. Take a look, think about what you have to work with, and start experimenting!

Here are some of the ideas that perked my interest: turning old tea kettles into hanging flower pots. An old window shutter transformed into a letter holder. Old snail shells repurposed as mini plant holders. Old pennies being used to tile a floor (I am saving some in order to try it myself!), or old bottle caps being used to tile a wall. An old suitcase is modified with a mirror and hung on the wall as a funky medicine cabinet. An old Volkswagon beetle converted into a chicken coup, and an old boot changed into a nest box. An upcycled wine barrel dog house…I have also seen a picture of a drum kit made out of old wine barrels! And speaking of drums, I had a few old drum sticks we converted into a various hangers, for our paper towels and our oven mitts (not as imaginative as other examples, but a start nonetheless!) Not to mention a picture circulating the internet of part of an old grand piano that was placed vertically onto a wall as a bookshelf…or an old bicycle being converted into a chic sink stand.

Happy experimenting in 2013! And if you need more ideas, visit your library!

Happy New Year everyone! January 1 sets into motion a flurry of New Year's Resolutions. What is the most common resolution you ask? It is almost always some form of getting healthy... eating better, losing weight, or getting to the gym. January is the month where fitness equipment goes to the front of the store, gym memberships skyrocket, the gym is packed with people, talk shows feature a host of celebrities and everyday people who have lost weight and library books on exercise and health fly off the shelves. In celebration of these resolutions, I thought I would give you my picks for healthy living.

I have to admit, I am an avid watcher of the Biggest Loser. I am especailly pumped for the return of Jillian Michaels this season and the show's efforts to tackle childhood obesity. So, if you are a fan of the show, the library has got you covered! There are a plenty of Biggest Loser cookbooks, DVDs and biographies from past contestants (if you need a little motivation). And of course, Jillian has a number of exercise DVDs and books out there for every fitness level. After the birth of my son, I used her 30 Day Shred video to get back in shape. I loved it because there were 3 different fitness levels and it was only 30 minutes long! Perfect for the busy person. Good luck to all those who have embarked on a New Year's Resolution! Feel free to leave us updates on how you are doing.

Off to Sea to See What We Can See

Given that we exhausted Grandma by moving hotels so much during our last trip to Italy, we decided to let the hotel do the walking and try out our first cruise. Mom, Dad, Grandma and Simon were heading to sea on our first cruise, so everyone picked a favourite city that they wanted to visit. Then we checked the cities against the routes, and settled on a 12 day trip on Norwegian Cruise Line through the Mediterranean Sea.

The starting port was Barcelona. As we explored the city at night, I remembered the novel The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon which we had read in my book club. The gothic tale had presented the city itself as a character, and it made sense as we walked through the medieval section with its stone sculptures. We grabbed some fresh squeezed juice in the Boquiera Market and gawked at the whole sheep heads for sale in the butchers. We broke in our shoes gawking at the amazing buildings.

After a couple days, we boarded our floating hotel, the Norwegian Spirit. Grandma stuck a big gift ribbon to the door so we could all find our way back home. Then we headed straight to the drop in buffet and the ice cream machine. The pool came next, and then a visit to the library. Full of food and words, we fell asleep in our bunks, and woke the next day in France. Ca va bien!

The best resource to take on a Mediterranean cruise is Rick Steve’s Mediterranean Cruise Ports. He’s got a cheat sheet to tell you when you should pay for an extra shore tour, and when it’s better to muddle through on your own. We took the ship tours when there was so much to see or transportation was tricky. Rick Steve’s popularity with North Americans is immense. If he recommends a place, it will be full of people carrying copies of his books. Comparing notes on your Rick Steve’s influenced tour is a great way to meet fellow travelers.

In Rome, we looked for street cats and gelato. The city brought back memories of another book club read: The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman. They are linked short stories about a group of people working at a failing English language newspaper. Simon liked looking around Vatican City because we had a tour guide who pointed out interesting facts.

Athens, Greece was hot, hot, hot, especially on top of the Acropolis with all that marble and no shade. Simon busied himself taking photos of all the stray dogs and cats. We were thankful for Rick Riordan’s kids book Percy Jackson and the Olympians because Simon was familiar with all the Greek gods.

The cruise swung over to Turkey, and then back to Venice, Italy. It was here that we experienced the ultimate travel story, the one that you will be telling for fifty years! It was our last night, and my husband and I had decided to take a romantic gondola ride. Knowing how much Grandma loved Venice, I decided that it would be greedy not to share the experience, so we included Simon and Grandma in the plan.

The boat ride was lovely. Massimo the gondolier was chatty, and steered us through the smaller canals onto the Grand Canal. There he got into a heated argument with another gondolier on the main canal, shouting out Italian insults and slapping his butt. We found it inappropriate but amusing, and Simon made a little video of the drama, learning some new Italian vocabulary.

As we neared the return dock, we heard a motor approaching rapidly. Grandma and Simon were facing forward, and could see the approaching motorboat, but we didn’t realize what was happening until we felt the shudder of impact. The motorboat reversed and struck us again, throwing Massimo into the lagoon, and rocking the gondola until it almost tipped.

It was the other gondolier, returning to continue the argument. As we drifted away in the smashed boat, the gondolier was hitting Massimo in the water with an oar. Grandma’s Italian kicked in, and she shouted “Polizia”. We looked up to see a crowd of tourists on a picturesque bridge, all with cameras pointed in our direction.

The water ambulance came, and Massimo’s assailant retreated. We pulled ourselves along the wall to a dock. The Polizia however, did not arrive for 30 minutes. Our guess? It was the night Italy was in the World Cup finals, so they had better things to do. Their reaction to the incident? They called it “a little argument among friends”! They didn’t even want to take our statement until but we insisted.

Heading home, we found a TV carried out into the street. Tourists and locals sat together eating gelato and watching the game. We joined in and ate one for the road.

Would we cruise again? Probably not, as I like to stay in places longer to get a real sense of them. But it was an interesting culture to try, and certainly removed all the hassles of food and shelter. We got to compare cultures easily by seeing them back to back. We have good memories of chatting with the crew staff. The cruise show magicians were skilled, and the drop in buffet meals meant that everyone could find something to eat quickly.

Would we cruise in a gondola again? I might, but Grandma’s a non swimmer, and she’s sworn off them forever. Basta!